I should probably be asleep. But I'm not, and it's not insomnia that is keeping me awake. I'm thinking, and thinking and thinking and thinking. I really think that I am an old British soul trapped in an American body. In the last couple of years, I have really discovered a love of British literature, the Bronte isters, Austen, etc. Especially the ones that have been made into movies (and yes, I know this is not a complete sentence). These new movies have introduced me to new British actors. It's no wonder I'm still single. I've got my heart set on a tall, dark, brooding British gentleman from the 1800s and what's my luck but they are all deceased. Well, I won't lower my standards. Haha.
That was a tangent. What I've really been thinking about tonight it how bad my life is not. I deceive myself sometimes (with the help of a roaring lion) that my life is horrible and that I'm really a nobody. Then I see differently. I hear the stories of others' lives and see the people that I do mean something to, and I know that this is not true. I may not have material things that I think I need, or have all the relationships that I think I need, but what I do have is sufficient. If I don't take the time to recognize these things, they might be taken away.
I want to let go and just live, but something stops me. I need to LIVE before death takes the opportunity away from me. I need to LOVE before the opportunity to show love to that person is taken away from me. And I need to LEAVE this blog alone for tonight, because it's late and I'm thinking too much and I have church in the morning. Good night.
Great thoughts!
ReplyDelete