Finally read between the lines....

One of the wonderful things about Scripture is that the second or third time you read a certain portion is usually the time that it really makes sense.  I've been stewing (stewing, fuming, crying, wailing, thinking, and stewing some more) over a certain portion of Scripture for over a week now.  And tonight, I think I finally get what God is trying to tell me. 

Those that know me real well can tell you that my singleness is something that I'm OK with for a little while, and then it starts to bother me, then I'm OK with it for a while, then it starts to bother me again.  Well, I'm in a period of botheredness right now.  I wouldn't say that it's necessarily that I want to be married all that much, but the thought of marriage does cross my mind every now and again.

Back to the Scripture.  I had been listening to the song "Jesus, Friend of Sinners" by Casting Crowns in my car a lot recently.  There's a part of the song that says "[I'm a] grateful leper at your feet," which brought to my mind the story of the ten lepers, and only one coming back to thank Jesus for healing them, found in Luke 17:11-19.  I like to read the verses surround a passage when I am studying my Bible.  Preceding this passage, in verses 5-10 is the following passage:

⁵ And the apostles said to the Lord, “Increase our faith.”
⁶ So the Lord said, “If you have faith as a mustard seed, you can say to this mulberry tree, ‘Be pulled up by the roots and be planted in the sea,’ and it would obey you. ⁷ And which of you, having a servant plowing or tending sheep, will say to him when he has come in from the field, ‘Come at once and sit down to eat’? ⁸ But will he not rather say to him, ‘Prepare something for my supper, and gird yourself and serve me till I have eaten and drunk, and afterward you will eat and drink’? ⁹ Does he thank that servant because he did the things that were commanded him? I think not. ¹⁰ So likewise you, when you have done all those things which you are commanded, say, ‘We are unprofitable servants. We have done what was our duty to do.’”

My first thought on this passage (after reading on a night when I was trying to understand through my emotions instead of my brain), was that I shouldn't expect anything from God for just doing what I am supposed to do.  When I became a Christian, I gave my life to Christ, it doesn't belong to me anymore, and I should be doing what God has asked me to do, without expecting anything in return.  [talk about a run-on sentence]  Then the next morning, after a lengthy text discussion with a friend, I thought it meant more like "last shall be first," "lose your life to find it," and "take up my cross daily."  So taking my eyes off the cross (big mistake), I look at the people around me and I'm want to scream and yell, why do I have to give up everything I want when everyone else seems to have what they want?  In taking my eyes off the cross, I fail to see what God is trying to get me to see. 

So after a lengthy gripe in my journal tonight, I decide that I need to take another look at this Scripture.  I just knew there was something else in there that God was trying to tell me.  Well, I figured it out tonight.  It's all in verse 6.  "Faith as a grain of mustard seed."  It starts with faith.  I was looking at the works end of it, and works is not what is going to get me into heaven.  It's faith.  When I have faith, I'm inspired to do good works.  I shouldn't do just one thing, and then expect God to just hand over everything that I want.  Being a Christian is about so much more than that.  Just like the Master doesn't tell the servant to sit and eat after coming in from the fields, God doesn't hand over a gift and say "here, open this" after I've completed one task.  I'm not saying that God doesn't give blessing upon blessing to His children, He continues to bless us even when we are not following Him the way that we should.  I just believe that blessings are easier to recognize when we are doing what we are supposed to for Him. 

So, what have I gleaned from this Scripture?  First, I've got to keep the faith.  I can't fully accomplish what God wants me to accomplish without faith.  Even with a tiny bit of faith, God can accomplish great things through anyone.  Second, I've got to keep working for Him.  I can't just quit when I've only done a couple of things.  There are things to be done all the time.  Third, I've got to remember that what I'm doing is not for me, but for Him.  The recognition for the things I can accomplish must be given to Him, because I'm just doing what He called me to do.  That's a small price for me to pay considering the larger price that was paid just so I can do these things and be able to have a relationship with Him.

I told someone recently that if I'm supposed to be married, I want to look up and find my future spouse working right beside me for the Lord.  So whether or not he's out there somewhere, there is work that needs to be done and the Master is calling me to work.