The scariest words in the world to me...

I am beginning to think that I got ahead of myself a couple of posts ago.  I may not necessarily be called to be single for life.  I read one time that a person doesn't know that they are for sure called to lifelong singleness until they die single.  This point brings me to the title of my blog.  The scariest words in the world to me are the words "I don't know."  I am OK with change, as long as I know what is happening.  If I have an idea of how things are going to change, I can usually roll with the change.  It's not knowing what's going to happen that scares me.  I think what bothered me most about my singleness was not knowing what was going to happen in my future.  I think it would be easier to know whether or not I was going to be single for life.  I used the past tense on the prior sentence because during my Scripture readings in the last couple of days, I have felt led in a different direction.  I feel that God is telling me that I just need to realize that He knows what is going to happen, He will be with me through it all, and as long as I let Him guide me, the change that comes (when and if it comes) will be handle-able (how's that for a run-on sentence and making up words?). 

I feel like I have spent the last few years wandering around in the wilderness like the children of Israel after they were led out of Egypt.  They had seen God do so many wondrous things, yet they had a hard time believing and accepting that He was really doing what was best for them.  They got to the point where they thought it would be better for them to go back to Egypt, and back to the slavery from which they had previously wanted to be free.  The misconceptions and illusions that I have had about my life in the last few years have essentially had me enslaved.  God has done many wondrous things in my life, foremost saving me from a life of sin, and bringing me into a relationship with Him.  There are many other things, too numerous to mention in a simple blog post.  So to let not knowing what is going to happen in my life keep me wandering in a wilderness of illusion is about as crazy as the Hebrews wanting to go back to Egypt.  Only I haven't let God free me from my slavery.  I am wondering around the wilderness dragging my ball and chain with me. 

Over the last couple of months, God has been showing me that it does not matter what happens in my life.  What matters the most is that I let Him have control, believing that He knows what is best for me.  The important thing is not whether or not I marry, have children, stay single, or make a lot of money.  The important thing is that my life is pointing people to Him.  There are still issues I have to work out, things from the past that the enemy likes to through in my face to get me off track.  As long as I keep my face pointed towards the Son, and try to stay rooted in the Word, I think things will be great.  I'm looking forward to what future wondrous things God is going to show me.