Powerful Puff of Positiveness, Popped

I watched the car that I've driven for over 4 years drive off earlier.  It didn't bother me as much as I thought it would.  I was stuck in a debt cycle, and I knew I had to make some changes.  I have another vehicle I can drive for a few months, and I can focus on filling in my debt pit.  I got so excited when I first thought about selling my car to get out of debt, but it didn't take long for that balloon to sink.  Thoughts of travel and adoption and less stress over finances had me floating high for a while.  Sadly, reality soon sank in.

Travel is not an issue.  I'm single, no children, it would be easy for me to travel if I had the money.  I have my passport, family in a foreign country, and a job that gives me plenty of vacation time.  The pin that popped the balloon was the thought of adoption.  I am fairly certain that marriage is not in my future.  It doesn't bother me as much as it did.  I think, as I get older, I realize marriage does not hold all the ideals that I thought it did.  I have always been interested in children, and I would love to have children of my own. 

Being single, adopting a baby is not something I would consider.  I would love to take in an older child.  After listening to a podcast on adoption on a Christian website geared for singles, several issues with single adoption were brought to my attention, and I was reminded of this with my nephew tonight.  While I don't think a single woman can't raise a child on her own (double negative for emphasis only), I do think it is important for that child to be exposed to other Christian adults, especially males (if the child is being raised by a single mother).  This was a point that was brought out in that podcast.  While I have plenty of Christian women in my life, there is a lack of Christian males.  There are Christian men in my church, but none that would be involved directly with my child's (if I ever have one) life.

Of course, one also has to consider that being in a single parent family may be better than a child growing up in an orphanage.  That's something I need to consider as well.  I know of many successful single parents, women that have brought up their children in church (both girls and boys), and these children are leading very successful lives today.  It's just a choice of whether or not God has called me to be a parent in this way.

I have this one my mind, since my car drove away today, and yesterday was Orphan Sunday.  I have a lot of decisions to work through in the next few months and pray that God will give me the strength and His guidance through them all.