Singles Devotional for me again

You might be seeing a lot of me on here. I'm off Facebook for Lent. :) Time to focus in the more important. Here's what I learned last night:

For I desire mercy and not sacrifice, and the knowledge of God more than burnt offerings. Hosea 6:6

Mercy? God desires mercy from us? What kind of mercy does God desire from us? Mercy towards others? Mercy towards myself? I'll admit, I'm okay in mercy towards certain types of people but not all types. I'm not at all good in mercy towards myself. I'm hanging onto guilt from things I did a long time ago. I use these as excuses to keep me from other things. And mercy towards others? I need to show God's love to everyone regardless of anything that they may have in their lives.

Another Valentine's Day devotional for my self...

I really hate Valentine's Day.  Not so much for the holiday and what it stands for, but for the fact this will be my 35th Valentine's day as a single.  It seems that as the holiday approaches, I see countless reminders that I will spend yet another Valentine's Day as a single.  Life is not all chocolate and roses for me, darlings.

However...

My life is not made up of thorns and empty candy boxes either.  My life is actually quite full, when I really stop to think about the things I do have instead of the things that I don't have (which I have to admit is not very often).  My sweet moods often turn sour when I focus on the wrong things.  Such was an issue the other night.  I was practicing a song to sing at church.  The chorus of the song ends with:

I confess You're always enough for me, You're all I need

(What Love is This performed by Kari Jobe)

 

My mood went south very quickly.  Why?  My mind went to all the things that I didn't have, thinking of all the reasons why I don't let God be enough.  I let my mind run with those thoughts for a little while, and I couldn't listen to the song any longer.  Suddenly, Elkanah's words to Hannah popped into my head.  She was mourning her lack of children, and he says to her, "Am I not better to you than ten sons?" (my words, Scripture found in 1st Samuel)  Hannah was mourning what she didn't have, because the listened to the verbal jabs from her "rival." 

In a way, Satan can be a "rival" in my life.  Instead of listening to my Father, I listen to his taunts.  "You'll never be married, Diana.  You'll never be a mother.  No guy will ever be interested in you. You are a failure because you did this." And on it goes, like a broken record that does not thought.  Actually, all he has to do is play a 10 second intro and I pick up the rest of the song myself.  I've gotten to know all the verses very well.  In fact, many times I have it on repeat all day long.   
 

Hannah did one thing that I haven't done very well.  She took her mourning before the Lord.  I have not.  I tell myself (using the lies from the enemy as substantiation) that God will not answer that prayer, and why ask Him for something that He doesn't intend to give me in the first place?  But do I know the mind of God?  Who am I that I should question Him?  Are His plans or His thoughts my own?  No.  I need to learn from Hannah and take my mourning before the Lord and let Him turn it into joy in His own way.  Will He give me what I ask for?  Probably not, but maybe if I am willing to ask Him, He will give me a new song to sing.  A song full of truth, and not full of lies.

Valentines Day Devotional for myself

The Weight of Waiting

Therefore, since we also have such a large cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us lay aside every weight and the sin that so easily ensnares us. Let us run with endurance the race that lies before us, keeping our eyes on Jesus, the source and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that lay before Him endured a cross and despised the shame and has sat down at the right hand of God’s throne. Heb. 12:1-2

In my life, singleness can be a pretty hefty weight to carry around. The heaviness doesn’t come from singleness itself, but the desire for things that are not there (spouse, children, etc). Heaviness can also come through expectations from our society (what’s wrong with me, I’m too old, etc) and the intentions of well-meaning people who want to match you up with every single person that comes into their range of vision. Sometimes this weight gets to be a bit much to bear.

However, I also have to look at the weight that I don’t have to carry because I’m single. The weight of spousal expectations, the weight of worry that comes with having children, the weight of sharing one’s life with someone else. Marriage and singleness are on a scale, and people will differ on which side is the heaviest.

It may sometimes seem that you or I are the only one on this path. It feels like we are alone in the universe and everyone else is paired up with another person. But that’s the beauty of Christianity. We are not the only ones that have travelled this path. We are not traveling this path alone. We have examples of people who have walked the same path and people around us to help us. Sometimes we may have to look a little closer at the people around us, or maybe look in places where we have not looked before.

Where is God?

O my God, my soul is cast down within me;

Therefore I will remember you from the land

of the Jordan,

and from the heights of Hermon, from the Hill Mizar.

Psalm 42:6

 

I have been asking this question a lot lately.  Where is God?  Why do my prayers go unanswered?  Will my dreams never come true?  On a recent sleepless and troubled night, after reading a very distressing email from a friend (distressing in that it pinpointed an area of my life that I didn't want to be reminded of), I found my self is the above area of the book of Psalms.  Starting in chapter 41 through around chapter 50, it was like the psalmist had been reading my mind.  I had been fighting what I knew I needed to do.  I didn't want to pray if God was going to say no anyway.  I didn't want to read my Bible because I knew what I would be reading.  I just wanted to quit everything and try to do things my own way.  That night, I didn't feel like the struggle was worth it, and I really needed to get some sleep, so I cracked open the Bible (more like the Bible app on my phone) and I heard God speak.  In the 42nd chapter of Psalms, there is crying and tears and wonder at where God is.  In chapter 44, the psalmist recalls the deeds God did for the prior Christians.  This is where God spoke to me.  Remember.  I need to remember the deeds of God in my own life.  And tonight as I type this, I need to remember the deeds of God in my family.  So I will remember a few here tonight, to remind myself that God is still here, and He will answer my prayers in His own time. 

 

REMINDERS:

• The salvation of my grandfather: without this I most likely would not be in church today.
• OBU: the biggest dream of my childhood was to attend this university, God was with me throughout.
• Paris: I had the privilege of sharing the Eternal Light in the City of Lights! Merci a Dieu!
• Hello!  I have the best niece and nephews an aunt could ask for!
• The breakdown on the turnpike on my way back from college, a ride from someone who just happened to live 5 min from my hometown.
• salvation for friends I have long prayed for

 

The list would be too long to keep going.  I have to hang onto these reminders as there are some areas of my life right now where I need the reminders to keep going.  Everything in me just wants to quit and give up, but it's going to take prayer and God to get me through and keep me going.  I can't let the darkness win.  I have got to keep heading into the light. 

 

I will lie down in peace and sleep, for You, Oh Lord, make me dwell in safety. Psalm 4:8

Thoughts borrowed from a friend

Recently, a friend on Facebook posted a couple of very deep and true thoughts on Facebook.  I have had the pleasure of knowing this woman for a long time.  She has only been a Christian for a few years.  Her salvation was one of the things on my top 10 prayer list for a long time, and a reminder that God answers prayer (even though it might not be on our time or in the way we expect).  Anyway, I asked if she would mind me sharing her thoughts here and she said OK.  So here goes:

Yesterday as I was leaving the Doctors office the nurse patted me on the back and said"God never gives you more then you can handle". These are my thoughts on this widely used statement: God does give us more then we can handle,and he does it on purpose. We as humans naturally fix what we have the ability to fix. Most of us do not ask for help unless we need it. If you can move your couch to clean... underneath it you push it out of the way without much thought,only asking for assistance if it is too heavy . God wants us to turn to Him with our problems there for at times making our problems big enough that we HAVE to ask his Help. God wants to work miracles in our lives and he can not do that if we can work things out for ourselves. God wants to be able to shine though us and our lives though His acts . 2 Corinthians 12:9 says "“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” For this too be true we need to be weak for his power to shine . Philippians 4:13 says " I can do all things through Christ which strengthens me" .THROUGH is the key word here. We can do Nothing on our own without His help. God sent Gideon into battle after shuffling though his warriors until so few were left that everyone would see that only God could win. God parted the Red Sea allowing Moses and the Israelites to survive a humanly impossible situation. If Moses could have lead them without help I am sure he would have with out much thought.

 

 Here's another post from my friend:

 

Today in Sunday School we were talking about the Wise Men searching for baby Jesus and it dawned on me that we are much like them.  Wise? No, I won't begin to claim that.  Only the people who were willing to look were able to see Jesus.  Many of us are lost, floundering around looking for our Saviour when He is right here surrounding us all.  Only the people willing to look are able to see Him.  When I go into nature, I see God everywhere.  IT IS EASY TO SEE HIM everywhere when everything is fresh and clean, still and good.  My problem is when things are bad, I forget to look.  God never leaves me, or anyone for that matter.  It is me who forgets to look and see Him.  He isn't in the people or the situation that is making me upset but close with me, guiding me.  Our world is not unlike when Jesus was born.  We have a lot to learn from the Wise Men.

 

I need say no more.  These excellent thoughts say enough on their own.

 

 

Haunted by the past

Well, I have been on an anti positive kick the last couple of months. I'm sure you can tell from the lack of posts. Although not every post I write is positive.

I made a decision a couple of months ago that I thought was the perfect plan. At first it moved so quickly and smoothly that I thought God was in it. Then everything came grinding to a halt. Everything eventually worked out, but I am really regretting that decision now. I wonder what is the use in even trying. Everything I touch fails in one way or another it seems like. I thought everything would be better, but it's not. The final result is that my dreams have died, not that they had much life to begin with b

Fearless Daughters of the Bible: a book review

I received a free copy of this book from Chosen Books in exchange for a honest review.  I'll have to admit that this book was not what I expected, although I'm not sure really what I expected out of a book with this title.  Women in Bible times, and even women in our times, didn't and don't have the freedom that men do to lead in our churches these days.  It is often fearful to even try, knowing what obstacles we may face, in trying to serve in the way that God may be calling us to serve.  J. Lee Grady gives excellent examples in his book of women in Bible times that did not let fear stop them from doing God's work.  He also includes examples of modern day women that did not let their gender affect their life's mission.  The end of each chapter includes a "message from God," directly to His daughters, meant to encourage. 

 

This is a well-written book, meant to encourage women in today's society to be all that God means for them to be.  Mr. Grady provides practical guidelines for increasing faith, and these guidelines are meant all women.  Single or married, young or old, any Christian woman will find encouragement from reading this book.  Some of the examples of the modern day women are a little outside of what I would consider for myself, but I would recommend this book for any woman who wants to serve God more but maybe afraid to step outside of the norms for Christian women.

 

I have to say that what I liked most about the book is that Mr. Grady did not steer the book to married women in particular, but he included references for single women as well.  As a single woman, it is hard when many times an author seems to assume that all the readers will be married, or will fall into a specific population of the culture.  I know that certain books are geared towards certain populations, but books for general Christian studies should be geared to all populations, in my opinion.  Mr. Grady did that in this book.