I have a problem with criticism. I saw it a lot growing up and apparently it became engrained in my thought processes. I'm afraid that the prime target of my criticism is myself. Some of this probably comes from the enemy, trying to destroy what little peace I manage to find. Most of the time, he is successful. I take his ball and run with it. You might say that he hands me a balloon with a little air in it, and I blow it the rest of the way up. I'm very good at this. I wouldn't say that I get a whole lot of criticism from others. If I do, it's constructive, and sometimes I take it fairly well. Sometimes I'll just add it to my criticism of myself.
Why am I bringing this up now? I've been on a criticism roll for a couple of days now. It kept me up most of the night a couple of nights ago, and I'm afraid tonight might be a repeat. This is hard stuff to hand over to God. I know I need to, I know that He is the only one that can take care of it. But I'm kind of holding on tightly. I'm afraid to let go, afraid of what will happen if I do let go.
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